Expectations of Expecting

Sweetest Kid Ever!!!

We have one son. His name is Kallan. Although he is a little too spirited at times, and his will is proving to be stronger than mine (which I didn't think possible), I love him more than I can verbally express.  He is the bean in my burrito, the pecan in my sandie, and I couldn't imagine life without him. (Notice how both my love references revolve around food - ha!)

The unconditional love you feel as a parent is astounding. Before being initiated into parenthood, this love is anticipated, even expected, but it is something that has to be experienced to be fully appreciated. Our unconditional love for K has led us to the decision to have another child.

We are expecting!!!!

As you can imagine, I'm ecstatic. I'm nesting - designing a room full of bright colors and fun toys, planning for child care, and wondering how Kallan is going to react to being a big brother and having to share Mamma. I feel joy and peace about being a mom to another bright-eyed little boy or girl. The waiting and anticipation is hard, but it will all be worth it when we bring another Strovas home!

As much as I would love to give you a due date, I can't. We are adopting.

We are not adopting in the traditional sense of the word; we will be fostering a child with the intention of adoption. As you can imagine, this has the potential to produce immense joy, incredible heartbreak, or an emotional roller coaster of both. Just like traditional adoption, the foster-to-adopt program does not guarantee you a child. Under Texas law, we could foster a child for up to 18 months before being given the option to adopt.

With adoption comes other conditions that you cannot control, for example, the state of the mother during pregnancy or the treatment of the child after birth. We may get a baby that is perfectly healthy with no signs of withdraw, abuse or neglect, or we may not. The uncertainty of adoption is unsettling, but we are trusting that God has the right child for us.

Even though the risk is high, so is the payoff - for us as well as the child. Below I have summed-up our reasoning for adoption.

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Why Adopt?

1. We want to extend our family of three to a family of four.

After all, three is a weird, uneven number. Someone always has to ride the roller coaster alone; there is an empty, expectant seat at the restaurant table. We really don't want to deal with these inconveniences for the rest of our lives, so it's only logical to have another child.   ;)

2. We want to give a good home to a child who would otherwise grow up in the foster-care system.

I'm not stating that the foster-care system is bad, in fact, it's quite the opposite. It is designed so that children without a good support system can experience a life as close to "normal" as possible in an environment where they are loved, supported, and encouraged. Granted, this is the idealistic premise of the system, and some foster-care families may not live up to this standard, but most do.

Throughout the last couple of months we've had the honor of meeting a few of Buckner's foster-care families and they are amazing! Giving a good home to children whose parents' are working on getting their lives back together is an admirable calling, and these families put their hearts on the line to help out children in need. Foster-care families are doing a great service for our communities by taking care of these innocent children.

Foster-care is designed to be temporary, not permanent. This is where Shawn and I come in. We can offer a good home to children whose parents are not able to get their lives back together, and therefore cannot lawfully take care of their children.

3. I've always felt that adoption would be in my future, and Shawn was open to the possibility. 

It's funny the things people remember. When I told my brother and my best friends that Shawn and I were going through the process to adopt, they weren't that surprised. They remembered me talking about adoption, even as far back as high school. I always had a feeling that adoption would be in my future, but I didn't realize those closest to me knew it too.

Shawn and I have talked about adoption from the very beginning. We both wanted a biological child, but were open to the possibility of adoption. I wouldn't say that it was an automatic decision to adopt child #2, in fact, we were trying for a few months to have another biologically. But, after a lot of soul searching and praying, we felt that God was drawing us toward adoption. We know that LOVE makes a family and that we could be blessed by a child that was not of my womb.

4. God adopted us.

Now let me start with the fact that I did not come up with this realization on my own. I was reading the websites of various adoption centers in Lubbock and came across Buckner's philosophy on adoption. It's a beautiful picture of us coming into the family of a loving father. If you'd like to learn more about this philosophy, read Buckner's devotional guide.

 

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Some people find it odd that we would choose to adopt a child when we can have children of our own. To be honest, before we started this process I assumed that most people who adopted had unresolved infertility issues. However, that is not the case. There are thousands of families just like ours that are choosing not to have additional children biologically, but to extend their family by adopting children who become wards of the state. In fact, we just went through two months of training with four families who actively decided to adopt through foster-care and had no issues with infertility. Three of those families had biological children.

At this time, we feel like adoption is the best option for extending our family. Even though this process will be difficult, I know that we will be blessed beyond measure by the child who comes into our home. He/she will change our lives forever, just as Kallan has.